Thirty

When someone joins you on the elevator say:

"It's my birthday. I just wrote 29 horrible things to say to a stranger on an elevator. Want me to tell you?"

Twenty Nine

When riding the elevator alone wait for someone to join you...

"Finally someone to talk to. I've been on this thing for like two hours."

they will probably just give a polite hi. Then tell them.

"I'm just so sad."

Twenty Eight

Say to your companion:

"The wedding was beautiful. And the reception was even more fun. Almost made me sad to have to ruin it. But sometimes you just have to kill."

That one's not funny, I'm scraping here...

Twenty Seven

"You see that Clippers game last night? It was pretty great, Baron Davis hit a game winning three as time ran out. It was awesome. I'm really happy for him, because he's totally a gentle lover."

A lot of these end up being gay themed.

Twenty-Six

When trying to describe a sensation to a friend...

"You know how it feels when you get cum in your nose? It was just like that."

(I just grossed myself out.)

Twenty Five

"So anyway, this is my first elevator ride since 9/11."

Twenty Four

When joined on one floor by a stranger press all the buttons on the elevator. Then when a second stranger arrives on the elevator and sees the lights lit up, just point at the first guy and shake your head.