OITE 10-13

Holy Shit. I've got to do four of these right now.

Ok, one:

Elevator doors close...
"Yeah, bro, anyway, I get home and she's completely naked, cooking me dinner in the kitchen. It was so hot. But the food was really bland."

Two:

Elevator doors open after a quiet ride in which the stranger is going higher than you are...
"Oh, thank God. I was going to have to murder someone if it was quiet for 3 more seconds."
Then don't get off the elevator. Wait for the doors to close and ride up to the stranger's floor in total silence.

Three:

Elevator doors open. A new person gets on. Take out a bottle of Jack Daniels and drink as much as you possibly can as the elevator goes up. When you get to your floor turn to the person and spit a mouthful all over them. Then say:
"Nice to meet you, too. Asshole."

Four:

Sing the following:
"This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on, my friends. This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on, my friends. This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friends."
This works great, because not only are you being annoying, but you're not even getting the lyrics right. Your elevator companion will be irate!