When riding the elevator, make a noise like your phone is ringing: "bring, bring, bring..." Turn to the stranger. "Want me to get that?" "Bring, bring, bring..." Then put your hand to your ear, miming a telephone. "Hello? Sure, let me check." Then tell the stranger "it's for you, are you here?"
Have a number 2 pencil in your hand when you get on the elevator. When the doors close snap the pencil in half and drop the halves to the floor. Then take another #2 pencil out of your pocket and repeat. Repeat again. And again. This will be best served if you manage to go through about fifteen #2 pencils so try to pick an old elevator in a tall building.
Ask your elevator companion a ton of questions in a horribly offensive racist accent. If they ask about it, insist that this is just how you talk.
"Hey, man. You looking to get high?" Despite their response press forward. "I've got pills and shit, what do you need?" Now turn on them. "You some kind of cop or something?" Then shove them against the wall (also, try not to get arrested).
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