What Day Is It, Anyways

I think I'll write about rattlesnakes tomorrow. Needless to say, it will not be a pleasant experience. 

I really want a beer right now and there is a ton in my fridge. My guests over the last week were kind enough to purchase beer often. Unfortunately though, it's almost all Coors Light.  Which is a terrible beer. If Coors Light were a football team they'd be the St. Louis Rams. If Coors Light were a metaphor it'd be the one before this one.

Uh-oh - This just turned into a bad metaphors post:

I'm really hungry. If my hunger was the amount of evil a person can be, it would be Saddam Hussein plus Hitler (or Obama). 

I'm really glad Chris Collinsworth is the NBC football announcer now. I like him. Earlier we were watching Dick Enberg and he's more senile than Vin Scully. If Dick Enberg were a drunk he'd be the kind of drunk that starts babbling about things that don't make sense and forgets everyone's name. 

I've been feeling the pressure of not working lately. I get regular checks from the government, but they're not quite enough to sustain me. If the checks I got from the government were a sexual act they'd be a handjob. It's enough to get you by, but you really wish there was more. (Also, it's embarrassing to say you get money from the government and it's embarrassing to say you got a handjob). 

I wish this blog was funny.  I'll have to work on that. You'd think I'd be able to do that. I am funny, right? Kind of? A little bit? If this blog was a comedy movie it would be Schindler's List. 

We would like to let you know that we are having some temporary issues at the servers for our dynasty featrure and our engineers are aware of this. They are diligently working upon this issue and hope to get it resolved soon. We're sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused.

That is the text of the e-mail I received from EA Sports. In regards to our NCAA 10 Playstation 3 dynasty. If the amount I cared about this was the amount I cared about it, you'd be shocked and embarrassed on my behalf. 

Perhaps a real cohesive post tomorrow. Technically this post counts, but even I'm willing to admit that it's bullshit. If this post was an animal's feces it'd be the feces of a bull.